Tag Archives: natural term weaning

What Will I Remember?

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What Will I Remember?

What will I remember, what things will come to mind
When I think about breastfeeding years on down the line
Will I remember the hours spent with you at my breast
The imprint on my arm from where your ear pressed
Will I remember the pain of those first newborn latches
And how cute baby nails left razor like scratches
Will I remember your hands searching for something to twiddle
And how feeds blurred together with no start, end or middle
Will I remember milk-drunk smiles and limbs gone limp
How your face lit up if you even caught a glimpse
Of my bra and how you knew the sound of the click
Meant nursies were coming and how you’d wave and kick

Will I remember the nights you never unlatched
And the neighbours and postmen we unintentionally flashed
Will I remember when everything was covered in spit up
And muslin cloths lay about to catch every hiccup
How milk leaked through my clothes and pooled in the sheets
And when meals, rest and showers were coveted treats
Will I remember how you looked in my arms as you slept
When I wondered what secrets your milky dreams kept
Will I remember your smell and how soft your skin felt
How feeding you made us both seem to melt
High on hormones, falling in love, and asleep

Will I remember all the times you just wouldn’t sleep
And I’d walk you and rock you and find strength somewhere deep
Will I remember the nerves from our first feeds in public
And when every conversation returned to the subject
Of babies and boobs and how we felt far from perfect
Will I remember when I dropped my phone on your head
And the crumbs in your hair ‘cos we both needed fed
Will I remember the milestones, and all the wild places
From beaches and forests, to pools, planes and staircases
Birthdays and holidays, celebrations and sick days
And those times you’d only feed upside down or sideways

Will I remember how feeding you made me feel proud
How, in moments of bliss, we were on the ninth cloud
Will I remember too, feeling trapped and touched out
Overwhelmed, overburdened, full of worry and doubt
Will I remember how every stage passed like the last
And how days that went slowly changed to years that went fast
How you giggled when milk got sprayed in your face
And how eventually you weaned, slowly, at your own pace
I want to remember how it all made me feel
The joy and the struggles and the mundane inbetween
I want to keep all the memories that made my heart sing
When I look back… I want to remember everything.

Ready

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Ready

Ready.  (a self weaning poem)

                       For Tessa.

She wraps her limbs around me still,
And nuzzles in her curly head.
But now she doesn’t ask to nurse,
“Mummy cuddles” do the job instead.
~
She still needs kisses on a graze,
Held through tears ’til she feels better,
But now she doesn’t need to nurse,
She’s ready, I’m not sure I’ll be ever.
~
She’s still my extraordinary baby girl,
And our bond just couldn’t be stronger.
I let her lead, the choice was hers,
Nursies aren’t needed any longer.
~
She’s older now and confident,
I’m so proud to watch her grow.
And grateful to have had a journey so rich,
That it hurts this much to let go…

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