Do You Have A Velcro Baby

Do you have a velcro baby
Are they with you, never maybe
Do they cling with all their might
All the day and through the night?

Do they need to feel your skin
Seem as though they want back in
Are they stuck to you like glue
No matter what you say or do?

Are they always at the breast
As they nurse from right to left
Are your boobs more out than in
Does milk dribble when they grin?

Are you ever so touched out
if you leave they start to shout
Will no other person do
Even if you need the loo?

Oh I know it is so tough
And you’ve had more than enough.
All you want is time and space
With no one pawing at your face!

I promise that the day will come
When the velcro comes undone.
When your arms are free to rest
And no one sleeps upon your chest.

When you’ll finish what you think
Your tea will still be warm to drink
When their needs aren’t all consuming
And their confidence is blooming,

Thanks to all the love you gave
When it was only you they’d crave.
Thanks to all the needs you met
When they were happy or upset.

Because you taught them to feel safe
By always being their safe space
They won’t need you quite so much
Won’t need to always feel your touch.

Then slowly freedom will return,
And you’ll look back and you will learn
That though the velcro days’ve passed
the bond they built will always last.

So if you have a babe who clings
And you wish they’d find their wings
Please take heart and hold them close
For it’s YOU they LOVE the MOST!

What Will I Remember?

What will I remember, what things will come to mind
When I think about breastfeeding years on down the line
Will I remember the hours spent with you at my breast
The imprint on my arm from where your ear pressed
Will I remember the pain of those first newborn latches
And how cute baby nails left razor like scratches
Will I remember your hands searching for something to twiddle
And how feeds blurred together with no start, end or middle
Will I remember milk-drunk smiles and limbs gone limp
How your face lit up if you even caught a glimpse
Of my bra and how you knew the sound of the click
Meant nursies were coming and how you’d wave and kick

Will I remember the nights you never unlatched
And the neighbours and postmen we unintentionally flashed
Will I remember when everything was covered in spit up
And muslin cloths lay about to catch every hiccup
How milk leaked through my clothes and pooled in the sheets
And when meals, rest and showers were coveted treats
Will I remember how you looked in my arms as you slept
When I wondered what secrets your milky dreams kept
Will I remember your smell and how soft your skin felt
How feeding you made us both seem to melt
High on hormones, falling in love, and asleep

Will I remember all the times you just wouldn’t sleep
And I’d walk you and rock you and find strength somewhere deep
Will I remember the nerves from our first feeds in public
And when every conversation returned to the subject
Of babies and boobs and how we felt far from perfect
Will I remember when I dropped my phone on your head
And the crumbs in your hair ‘cos we both needed fed
Will I remember the milestones, and all the wild places
From beaches and forests, to pools, planes and staircases
Birthdays and holidays, celebrations and sick days
And those times you’d only feed upside down or sideways

Will I remember how feeding you made me feel proud
How, in moments of bliss, we were on the ninth cloud
Will I remember too, feeling trapped and touched out
Overwhelmed, overburdened, full of worry and doubt
Will I remember how every stage passed like the last
And how days that went slowly changed to years that went fast
How you giggled when milk got sprayed in your face
And how eventually you weaned, slowly, at your own pace
I want to remember how it all made me feel
The joy and the struggles and the mundane inbetween
I want to keep all the memories that made my heart sing
When I look back… I want to remember everything.

Healing

New motherhood was looming and I thought I knew it all,

I’d breathe and pant and push just right after bouncing on my ball.

Instead a surgeon’s knife was called when my induction failed.

A perfect baby boy was born though my birth plans were derailed.

~

Finally they placed him on my chest, under my gown.

And though the golden hour had passed, with help, my breast he found.

So grateful I could feed him, at least I could do that.

Exhausted, sore and stapled, legs laid numb and flat.

~

I fed him and I loved him but it never was quite right

My nipples bled and up and down I’d pace the hall at night.

Turns out I really didn’t know what was normal, who to call.

All too soon I doubted if I could make enough milk at all.

~

It wasn’t getting easier, “What’s happened to his sleep?”

Without support, I just assumed he wasn’t getting enough to eat.

Everyone agreed of course. “You’ve done enough” they said.

“You’ve earned a break.” “It’ll be alright.” “It only matters that he’s fed.”

~

So despite the guilt already creeping in my mind,

I searched the shelves of powder for the “Hungry Baby” kind.

Life moved along. “It’s for the best.” I’d often tell myself.

Though secretly I felt ashamed, like I had failed the test.

~

Now motherhood’s no longer new and each baby taught me more.

How every journey is unique like every one before.

And looking back it’s clear to me that they were wrong to say,

That how I chose to feed them didn’t matter anyway.

~

Because breastfeeding matters! Of this there is no doubt.

Of course it does or why else would that voice inside us shout.

I’ve also learned that I was wrong to feel either guilt or shame

I was failed. I did not fail….I was not to blame!

~

I should have been supported, informed and made aware

Of how baby’s only happy when mummy is right there.

Told how nights are easier when mum and babe co-sleeps,

Of feeds that come in clusters and growth that comes in leaps.

~

Though I grieve what might’ve been I’ve made my peace and know

I did the best that I could do, learning’s how we grow.

Information isn’t pressure. Mums deserve the truth, cos when

You know better, you do better when you get the chance again.

~

Breastfeeding should be valued as the gift it is to all.

We need to move past talk of guilt and help heal wounds still raw.

I can’t change what happened but I can help the next mum,

To listen to her instincts, to succeed and overcome.

~

All Mothers deserve better and it’s time we made demands

Better births and fairer treatment, health care that understands

Bottles aren’t the only answer. Breastfeeding works when it is seen

As a skill that’s worth investing in and when we’re all on the same team.

Hold Me Mummy

(a poem by your newborn)

~

Hold me Mummy, hold me skin to skin

I need to feel you in the brightness and din

of this enormous new world I’m suddenly in.

We’ll fall in love on a wave of oxytocin,

so hold me Mummy, hold me skin to skin.

~

Hold me Mummy with my head on your chest

where I’ll feel you, smell you and calmly rest

in your arms. I’m safe. You’re my world, my nest.

I need only your love and milk from your breast,

so hold me Mummy with my head on your chest.

~

Hold me Mummy with your skin touching mine

and when I’m hungry I’ll give you a sign.

I’ll squirm or wriggle. Grasping hands mean it’s time.

Frequent feeding is normal, you’re doing just fine,

so hold me Mummy with your skin touching mine.

~

Hold me Mummy, place my ear on your heart.

Let its rhythm sync mine, still one though apart.

Connection through touch is the perfect start

to our journey together we’ll learn this art,

so hold me Mummy, place my ear on your heart.

~

Hold me Mummy and kiss my soft head.

I know you are tired and for my life you’ve bled.

I promise I’m worth every stitch and tear shed

and I know you love me, it doesn’t need said

when you hold me Mummy and kiss my soft head.

~~~

Bedtime Baby

Bedtime Baby

(a ‘Lullabooby’ for mothers who nurse their babies to sleep)

 

Softly…. quietly….. gently we begin,

“It’s time to nurse, my baby,” I sing.

Your mouth opens wide, I soon hear you swallow,

You’re drifting to dreamland, I’m tempted to follow.

Blissfully we sit, wrapped up in each other,

Connected, in sync; baby and mother.

 

Your eyelids hang heavy, each blink longer and longer,

Breastfeeding helps keep our bond growing stronger.

At nap-times and night-times, I nurse you to sleep,

Mother Nature’s own recipe, for sleep, peaceful and deep.

I lose track of time and of my thoughts sometimes too,

Mulling over the day, listing what’s left to do.

 

Your breathing grows softer, your hands lose their grip,

Contentment, your expression, as out from under you I slip.

Your beauty is multiplied by stillness and shadow,

My mind takes a snapshot,  such perfection is hallowed.

I whisper ” I love you”, touch my lips to your forehead,

Our sleepy-time ritual, no tantrums or tears shed.

 

You’re alone only briefly, I’m back with you soon,

Together we sleep, dreaming under one moon.

Soothed by security, it’s goodnight, sleep tight,

You hold no anxiety for darkness or night,

I’m there when you need me, you nurse when you may,

Until sun through the curtains melts the night into day.

 

 

(Please feel free to share your own feelings or memories of nursing your little ones to sleep in the comments below).